“Monkey See, Monkey Do”
Quite obvious, it’s always the
environment and surroundings which
grooms the child and “PARENTS” play a very vital role. A child’s
birth brings happiness and pleasure
but also brings lots of responsibilities as a part of parenting to shape and
groom their child to be a better person. Parents
influence their child, be it a social–emotional development, health
or any of their activities. It is always said that it’s the parents who groom
and determine their child’s future.
It has always been a notion that
family is the first school for a child. Even a shy and sleepy newborn takes interest
in observing things. Majority section of his brain is indulged in understanding
the surrounding. A newborn
can see, hear and understands but cannot speak but then too he adopts his
mother tongue. The child is a very good imitator. As rightly said, “Monkey see, monkey do”. Parents are in
charge of their child’s
social interaction, and thus the environment that the child is exposed to, with the parent’s permission shapes their future behaviour
thus forming a family and then
society.
Let us understand few factors which impact the Child’s behaviour:
The Environment: Children do inherit some traits
from their parents, but
more than that, it is the environment in which the child is raised. If
the parents are found having conflicts between them, then the chances are that
the kids will treat others with hostility. Once they see the parents fighting
and abusing each other then the child will find it common and will begin
solving sibling squabbles with the same tactics as they have witnessed. It may
also lead to difficulty in handling their relations with their friends or in
future with their partners
if they’ve grown accustomed to such family discord.
Few suggestions to deal with this:
- Love
your child and acknowledge his feelings as well.
- Avoid
fighting in front of the kids. If at all situations worsens then the kids can be explained the reason
of fighting. Like, “Daddy and I were extra argumentative as we did not have
same opinion but yes it
was wrong on our part to behave like that.”
- Please
assure your child that it was just an argument and not a bigger problem.
- Finish
the fight with a smile and the
entire family can sit together and show that despite of any
disagreements still,
the family is the strongest one.
It’s believed
that the children’s acquisition of problem-solving, language and social-emotional skills always
gets better with more contact and communication with their parents.
Develop Healthy Habits:
Parents play an important role in shaping children’s eating
habits. We know that a growing
body needs proper nutrition to develop and prevent disease. Sometimes it
happens that just because the child is not eating and is crying or being fussy, we offer them
the junk food which pleases them. It’s always heard, that “my child doesn’t relish fruits or
vegetables or homely preparations but prefers burgers, pizzas, other bakery
items”.
But a little more patience at your level will make you realise that if they get hungry, they will eat the
food you have served we all understand this, but fail to follow.
As role models, parents need to make sure that they’re
demonstrating a healthy attitude toward food and health so their children do
too, so one should bring some simple changes:
- Avoid
single serves of anything.
- Choose
water as a drink.
- Milk is a
healthy option against packed juices.
- Prefer fruits
over packed food in case of scarcity of time.
- Inspire them to have
grains with more fiber, fresh fruits and vegetables and dairy products.
- Involve your child in
cooking it will create a magical bonding between two of you.
- Exercise or go for a walk
with family
Never forget that “A family that eats together stays together”.
Clutches of Media & Technology:
The
other main element where we want to put light on is the clutches of TV, mobile,
westernised exposure which has corrupted our lives and our values. We have
forgotten our past where grannies used to tell stories and where outdoor
activities were highly motivated. At that time we had a joint family and so the responsibilities of the parents were shared. Now, due to the nuclear family system,
parents have added
responsibility. The time constraints push parents to an alternative
method of compensating their valuable time with things that money could buy by way diverting the
root cause of the problem, but values in a child can be imparted only by
contact and communication. When parents
fail to make time to talk and play with their children, they may feel unwanted
either getting close
to any gadgets or find wrong place and the wrong people. All these things widen the gap
between parents and kids which can sometimes risk their lives as well. Engaging
your child in TV, mobiles or any other gadgets can never be your substitute.
Parents
can manage this ever changing digital dilemma by:
- “Children see, Children do”.
First of all, you limit the use of
gadgets, read a storybook
and then your child will follow the same.
- Keep your child engaged in
some sport activity or play with him by this the child will become more creative and
communicative.
- Keep a track of your
child’s friends and the sites, software and the apps the child is using.
- Always interact with your
child, see that you are always present when the child is in front of the screen. Play a video game or watch a
movie, share some childhood stories related to it. This will help your child to
open up and share his/her experiences as well.
- Show some informative
videos like good manners or some moral stories online as we all know that they
are good mimics and will follow the same soon.
If
a digital device is used
thoughtfully and appropriately, media can enhance daily life.
Helicopter Parenting
The
term “helicopter parent” was initially used by Dr. Haim Ginott’s 1969
book Parents & Teenagers by teens who said their parents
would hover over them sort of a whirlybird.
Parents’
presence can be felt and seen around the child always. Whether it’s related to
his homework or any other activity. You will always find a parent not only
involved but also influencing the child’s decisions. This is also called a protective type of
parenting. Parents are a
major concern about the safety but then sometimes it happens that
parents are so obsessed with the child that they forget that the parent and
child both are a different entities
and have a different tasks
to do. Parents need to understand that being too much involved in their child’s
life can be harmful.
Allow
the child to explore, to make mistakes, to try out new things without much
guidance. Without this, the
child will never understand how to deal with a particular problem or
uncertainty. It becomes difficult for a child to face problems both
emotionally and mentally. Parents surely has to give warmth, the discipline
environment and the environment where they are the role models and they are
inspiring and teaching children moving towards that direction but with their
actions and in limited instructions.
Let’s understand that all sacrifices which you make will never go unnoticed. As parents, you will sometimes feel that you’re constantly making mistakes, remind yourself then that ITS’ OK, you are doing just fine.