Author: Parent

Posted on by Parent

I remember the days when as a student it seemed comforting to know that the answer to a question after a lesson, lay snug comfortable between the 2 brackets that the teacher had asked us to mark. Neatly scribbled in the page margin was the question number. Back home, I looked forward to draw the double margin with a red ball pen, using a sharp pencil and scale to underline the topic while completing the homework assignment to copy the beautiful long answer in the brackets from the text in the notebook. I used a sweet smelling eraser to rub any pencil smudges that might have run over the ruled lines while I moved the scale. Once I completed writing the answer, I would turn back all the pages to count the number of times I had received a star or a ‘Good’ or ‘Neat Work’ written by the Teacher. I knew that this time too, the assignment would get me something to make my effort count. To see a sharp bright red tick across the page with a remark that said – Neat work, scribbled in the right hand corner of the page was a pure delight. I can still remember the strange feeling of peaceful content that I felt at the end of each lesson that went this way.

Then there were days that I dreaded. Days I knew were a Tuesday. The first session of the day was the test. It was ok until I finished writing the date and my name on the sheet. Then came the questions – which stared as if they were back to avenge the neglect. I had always chosen to decorate only my answers in neat cursive and punctuated them lovingly. I remembered exactly that there were 2 paragraphs for the answer of this question and yes it was written on the right hand side of the book, but what I could not recall then was… exactly what had I written on that page. Sigh, sharpening my pencils or measuring my scented eraser with my scale did not seem to help nor did my memory come to my rescue.

Racing time ahead, I am still fascinated today with answers that come drafted to a question. As a parent of a middle schooler, I see the difference in how the student has now begun to enjoy the questions and the challenges it brings. The more the questions are intriguing, more the student is happy to unravel the mystery. The happiness to explain, the joy to crack the questions and writing answers gleefully on the paper reflects the sheer joy of a learner when challenged. Gone are the days when answers to questions were served like a gift wrapped with the exact words quoted from the text lovingly garnished with the words from the question. Today each child writes differently, interpreting in ways not prescribed by texts but by a reflection of whatever understanding has remained with the learner, long after the lesson sessions were completed. Discussions which are prominent with their animated explanations and a glowing sparkle in the eye and yes, you know for sure that the young adult in front of you is more of a seeker of knowledge than you were at his or her age.

This is today’s generation which quenches its thirst for knowledge under many streams. They find the lessons hidden in a capsule of digitalisation quite fascinating and long lasting in their memories. Of course, nothing can match the sheen that a prepared teacher brings in. Armoured with a strong content knowledge, the right essence of humour, fluent communication skills and also a razor sharp sense of sight and hearing, these modern day educators are often the right blend of a loving parent and a professional mentor. These teachers not just teach the answers to questions but also their class learns to ask questions which can challenge any existing explanation to prove itself yet again. The days have turned and questions you ask have become as meaningful as the answers one seeks. Rather than answers, questions have begun to reflect about what you know… so far.

So here is a question: When was the last time you did something for the first time?

My answer is today, as I write this article and punctuate this sentence once again lovingly with my favourite punctuation mark – the ellipsis, 3 perfect circle dots and this time I know exactly what my page speaks or do I…

 

Diana Isabel,
Parent of Teekshna Sherry Tabita
VIBGYOR High – Airoli, Mumbai

 

Good Parenting

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Being the ‘Good’ parent is not so difficult, after all!

From the moment we become parents, we are constantly under pressure to attain the much coveted ‘Good Parent’ title. An idealistic unmeasurable concept that only exists as a notion in our own heads; whose measurement parameters are in the hands of every human we interact – known or stranger.

In many ways our parenting journey is like the Aesop’s fable ‘The Man, His Son and The Donkey’. In our case, the donkey being our parenting style. So, whichever way we lead our donkey we are bound to attract criticism. Here is where the feeling of GUILT comes handy.

Guilt is a feeling of worry or unhappiness that we experience when we have done wrong or have deviated from the set norm. While Guilt is labeled as a negative emotion, for us parents it works in our favour.


This is how guilt helps:

First, I create a list of traits that according to my society and me, a good parent must have. Like, all good mothers, bake cookies and cakes or, to be a good mother I must host trendiest playdates or, good parents sing lullabies each night. Then I assign an implicit under side, which says if I did not host the latest in-trend playdate (so what if trends change every hour) or bake cakes (a take from colonial mommy image) or sing melodious lullabies (despite my sore throat) I am a bad mother.

Now, being a bad mother is not what I wish to be. It is not a feeling I am comfortable with. So, I feel GUILTY. Now I say, “I am a bad mother as I do not bake cakes with my son, but since I feel so guilty about it, I am actually a good mother.” By feeling guilty, what I just did was to allow me keep a high opinion of myself while acting like what I believe was bad. After all, only good conscious individuals feel guilt and remorse for their actions. Is it not? In a way, guilt becomes our saviour.

Most often, the source of these high code of conducts originate from benchmarking with our previous generation, comparing lives over social media, our own upbringing where we have been made to believe in ‘sacrifice all for the sake of children’ kind of parenthood or, in majority cases our beloved Bollywood cinema and television serials.

Going back to our ‘donkey’, just as there is no right or wrong way to deploy the services of this faithful animal except to avoid cruelty, there is no right or wrong way of parenting as long as it stems from trust and love. Each child is different and so is each parent.
Few points from my personal parenting diary that helps me stay sane:

  1. We are unique:Know what is best for my family and accordingly align my expectations from self
  2. One step at a time:Listen to my child to know her immediate needs (at times the need is for attention, at times seeking more freedom and yet at times the need is of being appreciated) and tend to those for that moment
  3. Different is good:Be conscious that my child is not an extension of me but an individual in her own right
  4. Be OK to be wrong: Accept that I am also growing as a parent, just as she is growing as an individual, so we shall both make our own mistakes and that is OK.
  5. Lose control:Remind myself that I am not responsible for fulfilling her dreams, my responsibility ends at being the facilitator.

To quote OSHO, “The function of parents is not to help children grow, they will grow anyways. The function is to help what is already growing.

Oindrila Purohit
Parent of Daanya Purohit
VIBGYOR High – Goregaon, Mumbai

Yeh Dil Maange More….

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VIBGYOR High Marathahalli gave us a fantastic opportunity to host one of the Dutch students for one week. Initially even the thought of accepting a foreign student was a bit scary.

Concerns, concerns – Will she be comfortable, what will she eat, what if she feels home sick, and would we be good hosts? Eventually, we set all the worries aside and embraced the adventurous route. Nevertheless, it was rewarding.

Not just us as host family, I am sure each of the participants had a truly rewarding experience from this student exchange programme and it will have an everlasting long-term effect on their life. Friends, even brand new friends, make all the difference in the world, literally.

Meticulously planned and executed daily events for different interest groups by the school management and parents created a strong connection. We formed an inclusive family and had the sweetest of lifetime memories.

With satisfying our inquisitiveness about the foreign culture, languages, the food, weather and the endless conversations, the week just flew by.

The pleasant experience is difficult to encapsulate in words- truly overwhelming.

I firmly believe it’s off to a great start and not the end. Looking forward to it.

Yeh Dil Maange More….

M. Gupta

Father of Kanishka Gupta,VIII ‘B’

VIBGYOR High, Marathahalli

New Sense of Responsibility

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My child got the opportunity to be the part of the student exchange programme earlier this month and Maud from Netherlands t’Atrium stayed with us. My reflections on the experience on how the entire programme went are as follows:

First of the concept and the structure, I see it was very well planned. The details of our guest’s hobbies, interests and contact details were exchanged. This was good and ensured that we as a family had an idea of the guest and what to expect. We were also able to plan a comfortable stay for her.

In such programmes it is essential to ensure the child has a real, positive experience and a fruitful experience. Second thing worth mention is the encouragement and support provided to the participating students before as well as during the programme. They missed some classes yet all the teachers ensured that they do not miss on studies and tests.

Now coming to the learning part of the programme, it was beyond expectations. The learning was not only for the child but the sibling and the entire family as well. My kids got used to sharing their space, making space for somebody not known to them. Next was the learning about the culture and acceptance of diverse perspectives. They developed an appreciation and learnt that it is easy to be so different (in looks, physical features, food, habits, culture) yet be so similar when coming to laughing and having fun together.

Children also realised that the guest child is away from home, yet handling everything in a cool manner without panicking.  I can see a new sense of responsibility in my children. This exposure is something very important to them, learning to respect others and being tolerant as well as dealing with them.

Overall a great experience. Thank you to entire staff at VIBGYOR, and especially school for encouragement and support.

– Abha
Mother of Veda Gupta, Grade IX
VIBGYOR High, Marathahalli